Pete our poet has had the muse upon him again, but this time there is just a hint of culturally insensitivity. Can you find it? As the Americans say: 'Enjoy'!:
I'll probably get excommunicated for this one!
Applause
They clap when you finish a prayer or sermon in Cambodia.
So what next? Marks out of 10?
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the X-factor.
The Very Rev Simon Cowell will now give feedback:
'Good prayer, but 27 minutes is a bit too long for me.'
'In your prayer, you used the word 'just' 39 times in 3 minutes'
'A very powerful sermon on soxial media.
I particularly liked the fact that you stayed at home and spoke via a 3D hologram.'
'I recommend next time you pray you speak in tongues,
It's more intelligible than your Belfast accent.'
I think God applauds us just for trying.
The best prayers are usually
Inarticulate groans of the heart.
The best sermons are the ones you live out.
So when things are getting tough
Listen hard and imagine:
The angels whoopin' and hollerin'
The saints shouting out encouragement from the sidelines
And, Jesus, giving you a big thumbs up,
With a card in his hand
That simply says '10'.
A Prize for those who can find the cultural insensitivity: An mp3 of this poem read by its author: in a Liverpudlian accent: the only thing harder to understand than a Belfast one!
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